It’s the month of love and a lot of us are going to be rooting for ourselves. YES to Self Love! But what is this phenomenon, “Self-Love” all about?
I was chatting with a girlfriend and she happened to mention that Self-Love is akin to Self-Care. Where you dedicate spending time, money and emotions on yourself. You know, go for that manicure, take yourself out for a date, acknowledge and honor your emotions and do the inner work.
Brilliant! But my question to her, and all of you is, how do you get to a place of Self-Love?
What does it take for us to hold up our hand and say “Stop! It’s time for me.”
This is where personal power comes in. You may have come across the term “Stepping into your Power” and that’s also a form of Self -Love.
The beauty about personal power is that, unlike the effort we have to take to “do” Self-Love activities, our personal power is always within reach. Inside of us. So, for this month of Love, let’s look at how we can Step into our Power and Stay there!
Psychology Today states:
Stepping into your power means you recognize and accept you are complete within yourself. It is an illusion to feel that anything or anyone else gives you happiness, control, or power. You step into your power by letting go of the need to have your life in a certain way. Overcome attachments and neediness to things and people.
How many of us can identify with this? How many of us are guilty of giving away our power to people, circumstances, situations or even things?
Stepping into your power means, walking away from all the people, circumstances, situations and things that bring us down. Personal Power is demonstrated through our strength, our resilience, in standing up for ourselves against everything that mattered to us, but no longer serves our highest interest. There are times when we do feel powerless, and all we want to do is put up our hands and say, enough! I concede. And that’s ok to. But just remember, your power is ALWAYS there. It’s ok to slide out of the drivers seat once in a while, but sooner or later you will be asked to Step into your Power once again and take control of the Driver’s Seat.
There have been many circumstances in life that I have faced where I recognised that I was letting external forces steer my life for me. I was stuck in jobs that I didn’t like but had to work because we all have to pay our bills. I was in dysfunctional relationships where I had completely lost my power and lost sight of who I really was.
It was during times like these when I really had to pull the handbreaks and hit a pause in life and switch seats. I quit my job and walked away from the abusive relationships. Yes it hurt and it was scary at first. Being jobless and alone is not a nice place to be in, but once I took myself out of these situations, I realised that I deservd better. And everyday, I strive for not just better, but great. I’m focusing on me now, by fulfilling my passions and enjoying the work that I do instead of working relentlessly for a company with no values and putting energy into a relationship that was not heading anywhere. When I see the things I have achieved and who I have become, I am proud to say, I’ve Stepped into my Power. If I can, so can you!
But there are days when I feel powerless. When I feel like a victim rather than the victor of my life. Sometimes things happen and you find yourself not just in the passenger seat but shoved all the way into the backseat. And I want to tell you that it’s alright to ride in the back for a while, until you have things figured and are able to climb back into the driver’s seat.
Remember, this is your life and you get to run it the way you want from start to end. At time’s like this, let someone else take over the driver seat for a while, but make sure they are just as aligned as you are (god forbid you want this person to steer your car into a ditch). Have mentors and authentic friends close by so when you do hit a flat tyre, and find yourself in the backseat, you know you can trust them help you get your car back on the road again.
So where are you in life at the moment? Have you taken charge of the wheel and find yourself in the driver’s seat? Or are you in the passenger seat. I’d love to hear from you!